The Weight Of It All
by MoonlightGardenias
Summary: Will/Mac post-Oh Shenandoah. In the aftermath, they seek comfort and stability with one another.


**Author's Note: **So you know those situations where an idea claws itself into your mind and won't go away until you do something about it? This is one of those things.

Apologies if it's terrible. While I love these characters so much, I don't own them, and as such this is the first time I've taken them out to play. I do have to say I'm nervous to even post this, because while I adore these characters, this is the first time I have written for them, so hopefully it's not OOC & stays true to who they are.

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><p>Will barely says a word on their trip home. He clings tight to her hand, as if it's the only thing keeping him tethered to the world that no longer makes sense. He went from the exhilarating feeling of holding his wife for the first time in fifty two days to learning one of his best friends died, not to mention the fact everything about ACN as he knew it was changing, and there was nothing he could really do about it. To say Will feels a bit off kilter would be a terribly bad understatement.<p>

"You should eat something," Mac mutters, toeing off her heels as soon as they enter the apartment. She reaches behind her, letting her hair down, running a tired hand through it as she watches him just standing in the doorway. "Nothing's changed, really. I've been so caught up with everything happening at work, I never had the time to properly focus on furnishing this place. That, and it simply didn't feel right doing so without you here goading me about the choices I made."

Will makes a sound she thinks is close to a laugh as he slowly shuts the door behind him. Silence settles around them, heavy and hard, and he knows he should say something because he can tell by the look on her face that he's scaring her, but he can't bring himself to say the words that have been pressing against the layers of his mind since she first spoke them: _Charlie died_.

"There are a few take out containers in the fridge. You need to-"

"I'm not hungry," Will says, and it comes out harsher and louder than he means for it to. "I'm sorry. It's just-"

"I know," Mac replies, at last bridging the gap between them. In the pale moonlight that filters in through the window, she sees the red rimming his eyes, and her heart breaks a little more. "Tonight was supposed to be about celebrating. You're free, and I'm sorry I had to ruin your happiness about it by telling you what happened. If I could have held it off longer, I would have, but I knew you'd want to know."

They both know she couldn't have held it off much longer than she did; even in the off chance he couldn't tell something was wrong by the look on her face, he'd eventually want to see everyone, and when Charlie wasn't among them questions would be raised. The fact she can't seem to voice the words again either don't go unnoticed by him.

"You should at least take a shower. It'll help. Despite your saying otherwise, we do have electricity and running water, you know."

That earns a smile from him, because even if she's just as down and out as he is, at least she's trying. He reaches out a hand to cup her face, and he nods. "Okay. But Mackenzie, I have spent the last fifty two days away from you, so I'm only doing it if you join me."

She doesn't have to be told twice. She steps back, reaching for his hand, quietly pulling him towards the bathroom.

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><p>They lay together in bed afterwards, a tangled mess of limbs and sheets, and neither have any notion of how much time has passed. Will is almost asleep, lulled by the even sounds of their breathing, when he finally hears her speak.<p>

"It was my fault."

It takes a minute for her words to sink in. His arm curls protectively around her, eager to stave off the storm that is brewing. "Mac-"

"He'd been acting off kilter all day, and I was too distracted trying to put together the show to notice. All he was asking us to do is try and cooperate with Pruitt at least a little, and I couldn't even do that."

She draws in a ragged breath, burrowing further into his chest, and while he thinks it might be better if they had this conversation in a different position, if this is what she needs he's willing to give it to her.

"I knew what Sloan was doing when she put together the ACNgage story, and I should have put a stop to it before she went too far. I knew he'd blow a gasket, but I didn't...I didn't think he'd..."

"Look, Mac, I wasn't there to see what happened, but I know him," Will says with a sigh. He closes his eyes upon hearing a sob escape her lips. No matter how much he needs to, he can't bring himself to talk about Charlie in the past tense yet. "I know he wants what's best for everyone, and what's best isn't what that prick Pruitt wants. Even if he didn't say it, he agreed with you. You have to know that."

Her sobs subside, slowly, and she pushes herself up the mattress so she can look at him more clearly. For fifty two nights (well, slightly less to be honest, because there was the night drunk on Sloan's couch and the few she'd spent hunched over the desk in her office, but he doesn't need to know about those) she'd slept in their bed alone, curled against his pillow like it was a safety net. The reality that he's there and holding her is such a relief, even if it comes at such a somber moment. "Do you really believe that?"

Will wipes away a tear from her face with the pad of his thumb. "I do."

Somehow, those words are the only thing she needs to break out of the pain holding her like a vice. There will be more tears to come, but for now she can't help but smile. "The last time you said those words, you were marrying me."

He turns on his side, tugging her close enough their foreheads brush. "I was, wasn't I? I just wish I could've attended our reception. I heard the cake was nice."

It earns a throaty laugh from her as she nods. "There's some I kept for you in the freezer."

"We could bring it in tomorrow. It'll cheer everyone up," Will says the words, knowing they're a lie, but he knows they have to brave the subject of heading back into the office eventually, and now is as good of a time as any.

"About that," Mac clears her throat, finding the right words difficult to come by. "Charlie said Leona's parting gift to him was that he was the one who had the ability to fire anyone at ACN. While he was putting on a show for Pruitt, I know he wouldn't have truly done it. But with him gone-" the word tastes hollow and bitter in her mouth, and it rings in the air for a few seconds before she can force herself to finish the sentence. "I doubt Sloan and I will have a job tomorrow."

Will wants to shrug it off, because they've gone through things like this before. They've both been on the brink of losing their jobs multiple times before, and he knows without a doubt it won't be the last time it happens either. "If he lets you go, then I'll walk out, too."

At that she scoffs, knowing she should find it reassuring but still finding herself at a loss. "After everything that's happened, are you still banking on yourself being "too important to lose"? I don't want you risking yourself because of me."

"I can, I have, and I will again if I have to."

There is a sincerity in his eyes and in his words as he says it that she has missed so much, and in that moment all the fight seeps out of her. The emotions of the past twenty four hours and, if she's being honest, the past month and a half, are catching up with her. She knows they need to talk-about the show, about Charlie, about everything-but for the moment all she wants to do is lay in his arms and sleep.

Morning will come soon, and someone will have to break the news to Jim and Maggie, who are probably on a plane overhead somewhere. In a few days, the funeral will come, and even if she knows they will go, she doesn't want to think about the chaos it will bring.

"God, I've missed you," he whispers against her skin.

The corner of her eyes crinkle as she smiles for the first time in what feels like days. She traces the line of his brow and down to his jaw with her fingertips, recommitting his features to memory. "I've missed you, too."

There is still so much to discuss, so much still up in the air, but as Mac presses a kiss to his lips, she knows that for now having Will home is enough.


End file.
